“I'm 53 yrs of age and have not had an erection in a month. Would viagra work?”
Erectile dysfunction (ED) is extremely common, especially as men age.
Studies show that up to 40% of men in their 50’s experience some form of ED.
The thing with studies about sex, though, is that I never feel like they capture the true picture. I would estimate it to be much higher based on the hundreds of honest conversations I’ve had with men and their partners over the years.
And that’s ok! Sex is complicated. It’s called an eco-bio-psycho-social PHENOMENON for a reason.
Now before I go on, here’s my disclaimer that this is NOT medical advice. Please consult your physician, folks!
The short answer is that while medications like Viagra can help (after all, there’s nothing like a little reassurance to help with your confidence), it shouldn’t be the end all be all.
I write more about penises, viagra and their impact on men’s health here. To quote that article:
“25-30 million men globally take Viagra. Many are young, and they do so because they don’t want to seek help and are scared of losing an erection,” said Brazilian sexologist Ana Canosa in a recent podcast interview.
“Not everyone that takes the medication actually gets hard, because they get too worried about losing it, so the stress overwhelms the physical function.”
Sex-focused therapist Mike Rosen confirms, “Many men seek quick solutions through Viagra prescriptions, but those prescriptions don’t actually help them do the deeper, longer-lasting work on their anxiety and mental health.”
The reason why so many men struggle with doing the deeper work (besides living in a society that conditions us to seek immediate gratification) is that they need to be vulnerable…and we know that men were not brought up to share their emotions, which is a shame. So it feels unnatural and obviously easier to just pop in a pill.
You have to understand the underlying causes to address the issue holistically.
Erectile dysfunction is often the result of a combination of physical, psychological, and lifestyle factors. Here are the most common causes:
Testosterone levels naturally decline as men age. Low testosterone can reduce libido and contribute to difficulty achieving or maintaining an erection. Hormone testing can help determine if this is a factor.
Erections rely on healthy blood flow. Conditions like high blood pressure, atherosclerosis (narrowing of the arteries), or high cholesterol can impede circulation, making it harder to achieve an erection.
Type 2 diabetes can damage nerves and blood vessels, both of which are critical for erections. Men with diabetes are three times more likely to experience ED than those without.
Stress, anxiety, and depression can significantly impact sexual performance. For men, societal pressures to “perform” sexually often amplify these issues, creating a vicious cycle.
Smoking, alcohol consumption, poor diet, and lack of exercise can all contribute to ED. These habits affect circulation, energy levels, and overall health.
As I mentioned earlier, Viagra (sildenafil) and similar medications like Cialis (tadalafil) can be effective in treating ED, but they’re not a cure-all.
These drugs work by increasing blood flow to the penis, making it easier to achieve an erection. However, they don’t address underlying health issues or emotional factors.
So if you’re considering Viagra, consult your doctor first. They’ll evaluate whether it’s safe for you, particularly if you have heart conditions or take medications like nitrates.
Now, I understand that some of what I’ll share next can be obvious, but it’s important to keep in mind nonetheless.
Here are some additional steps to consider when treating ED holistically:
Complete the stress cycle through regular exercise and practice mindfulness.
Meditation and breathwork does wonders to reduce stress and get you out of your head. It did wonders to get me out of depression and off of my meds.
It’s free and accessible to do from anywhere, so I will always remind you that this is available and effective.
In Kleinplatz and Ménard’s book Magnificent Sex: Lessons from Extraordinary Lovers, one of the characteristics shared by couples with great sex lives is that intercourse was irrelevant.
If you’re faced with a soft penis, the best thing to do is to shift your focus to other forms of pleasure using your hands, mouth and intimate devices.
If you sit there trying to justify what’s happening and feeling embarrassed, or if you’re a partner who puts the other person down because they can’t keep it up, you will only create a deeper wedge between you two. Get creative and have fun.
Consult a urologist or endocrinologist to rule out medical conditions contributing to ED.
And don’t forget that working with someone specializing in sexual health will help address performance anxiety and relationship concerns.
If you’re interested, book a free discovery call with me to learn more about how we can work together and understand if it’s a fit.
Remember, prioritizing your sexual health is an act of self-care—and you deserve it.
